Everybody Does It, Derek
by phantomlimb21
Summary: Stiles is being a little shit and Derek is so done with his life
1. Chapter 1

"Jesus Derek, the least you could do is get a couch for this place. It looks like a total grave yard; pun intended," Stiles said cheekily to Derek's unamused expression.

He'd throw something at him but really, he just cleaned the place and he rather not make a mess.

"Just get your book and leave, Stiles."

"Why you in such a hurry; I don't get under your skin that much. Unless you've got some total hottie coming over and you just don't want me to know abou- oh my god, that's totally it, isn't it?" Stiles said with as much excitement as teenagers get when they figure something out.

Derek rolled his eyes.

"There is no 'hottie' as you crudely put it. There's no one."

Stiles wagged his finger at him.

"No no no, there's always someone. You just don't want me to know who it is because you're embarrassed for some reason."

"Of course Stiles, ya caught me. I didn't want you to know because I know how you get. You figured it out. Unfortunately, I'm out of gold stars," Derek replied with dry like the Sahara desert sarcasm.

This did not faze Stiles.

"You're just using sarcasm as a defense and that's my thing. Ok, so it's someone I know, most probably someone in the pack. Is it Lydia because I don't fault you there, she's a total babe."

Derek's distaste was nicely expressed by that particular facial expression.

"Ok, so that's a no. Oh god, is it Allison because Scott will so not be down with that."

"No, Stiles," Derek grunted.

Stiles raised an eyebrow.

"Is it Isaac and don't even lie, you know you've thought about it at least once."

Derek looked at him incredulously.

"But those cheek bones, Derek. Them cheekbones could cut your hands. Cut your life. They could cut your virginity especially with his smile and wow when did I get this gay, moving on," Stiles said with a chuckle.

Derek rolled his eyes once again and started walking towards the room he called his kitchen even though it didn't resemble one at all because Stiles was being annoying. It was pointless, though, because Stiles just followed him into the next room.

"I know it isn't Boyd or Erica. Definitely not Jackson, I mean god bless his face, but that's pretty much all he has. Well that and his dick which I've clearly never seen hahaha," Stiles said, laughing nervously.

"Hey, Jackson's a good Beta and wow I'm not even going to ask," Derek said as if he defended Jackson's honor every other day.

Which he did.

"Ugh, fine. I'd say Scott but then that would be unfair because we've all got a little crush on Scott. Like come on! Who doesn't?"

Derek almost nodded his head to that one but stopped just at the right moment and opened the fridge and stuck his head in to have a look.

"Is it someone older?" Stiles asked, propping himself onto the counter.

"Sure, just make yourself at home. Why of course you can put your ass where I eat," Derek mumbled to himself as he checked the milk's expiration date.

Nonetheless, Stiles heard him. He was after all, a good listener, in case anyone's forgotten.

"Oh please, this is the only piece of ass you're getting."

Derek tried to fight off the fierce blush that threatened to grace his face.

"Oh god, is it Chris Argent? Deaton? Mama McCall?!"

"I love how you just assume I'm bisexual," Derek grumbled as he finally found the jam he'd been looking for.

"I thought you were an equal opportunist," Stiles said, frowning.

"I am. I've just never said so out loud," Derek said, not really caring. He'd never been ashamed about it; he just never felt like it was anyone's business.

"Oh oh, well then it's just something I deduced about you. Just like how I deduced that you were a total Danny Zuko wannabe in high school," Stiles mumbled at the floor where he was completely focused on his shoes and refusing to meet Derek's eyes.

It was a complete lie and it was a surprise to Derek to hear Stiles's heat blip over. Normally, Stiles rarely ever lied to Derek. It confused him and the smell of embarrassment radiating off of Stiles didn't clear things up any further. The smell was so penetrating that Derek was actually worried.

"Stiles, what did you do?" He asked, staring at Stiles's face intently.

He had no choice. He was in the room with a werewolf, an Alpha nonetheless; it was like being with a walking and talking lie detector. So he came clean.

"So um, at one point, I may have been on your computer and I found yourpornfolder," Stiles said hurriedly. He grabbed an apple that was on the counter and took a deep bite of it, hoping to delay any further questions Derek might have.

Derek froze.

Stiles continued to eat the apple nervously, swallowing it in odd moments.

When he finally composed himself, in a rough voice, he asked "How much-how much did you, um, see?"

"All of it," Stiles said around an apple piece.

Derek put down the jam jar that he'd been gripping a bit too tightly and said "Okay."

He then proceeded to lock himself in the bathroom and suffer a mini panic attack. He let the water run so as to cover up the fact that he was now talking to himself.

"Ok, it's fine. It's fine that he saw it. You've got nothing to be ashamed of. You are a healthy twenty four year old adult and what is he? A fetus."

"Excuse you," was heard yelled from the other side of the door.

"Stiles, go away, let me have my existential crisis, it's been a long time coming," Derek yelled back.

"Dude, so what if I looked at your porn folder? You have one, I have one, every living male has one. Are you embarrassed because of your preferences because if that's the case, don't be. We all have our kinks. Just cause you've got a thing for skinny pale boys with freckles doesn't mean it's a bad thing. God knows if that was the case, no one would ever find me attract-"

Derek rested his head on the door. Game over.

"Holy-holy shit, Derek open the fucking door. Derek,_ Derek_, get the fuck out here, it's me oh my god, it's me you-"

"Don't," Derek said as he opened the door which made Stiles fall on him because the dork had been leaning all his weight against the door.

Stiles scrambled off him, purposely accidentally groping one of Derek's pecs. Derek kindly ignored this.

"Don't what?" Stiles asked defiantly, not caring that he was literally egging an Alpha on.

"Don't assume things," Derek said through gritted teeth.

Stiles's face faltered for a mere second before he turned it into his normal smirk; but Derek had still seen his face fall and hated himself for being the cause of it.

"Ok, if you don't want me to assume things, then tell me I'm wrong. Say it to my face," Stiles said with determination, amber eyes blazing fiercely.

Derek studied Stiles's face and opened his mouth to argue but shut it. He tried to say that he didn't like him but the words wouldn't come forward. He turned away and focused on the shower curtain.

"That's what I thought. So I gotta ask, why are you being so dark about this?" Stiles asked inquisitively.

"Because I'm waiting for you to mock my pathetic little crush on you; so get on with it, I have a jelly sandwich waiting for me."

Stiles's eyes snapped wide in surprise.

"Whoa, wait a minute, what?"

Derek sighed.

"Look Stiles, I know everyone likes you, so I'm not even gonna try. So get on with the rejection."

At this statement, Stiles narrowed his eyes in disbelief, grabbed Derek by the front of his shirt and yanked him towards him and kissed him profoundly. Derek's body seemed to be way more in tune with the situation than his brain because he responded to the surprise kiss; thoroughly. Stiles concluded that this was his first real first kiss because that moment with Scott was a brief moment of confusion everyone gets with Scott.

When they finally parted for breath, both of them were smiling like they'd won Jeopardy.

"So are we-we a thing? Are we-we hapening," Stiles asked breathlessly.

"Yeah, yeah, we're definitely a happening," Derek answered as he pulled Stiles back in (which Stiles happily complied)


	2. Don't Try This At Home, Kids

**Two Weeks later...**

After a normal intense make out session, Stiles and Derek had worked up quite the appetite and decided to sedate themselves with fast foodDerek didn't want to but Stiles refused to lose this fight or any fight so they went to Arby's; the place that had the best damn curly fries. They got their food and went back to Derek's loft, where Derek suggested they watch a movie and Stiles said "Sure."

They scoured for one because apparently on demand was very limited when it came to good taste finally settling on the only thing available that could truly make them both laugh: New Moon. Stiles figured it would be fun to watch it and point out all the horrible inaccuracies it was either this or high school musical and Derek put his foot down on that one. However, that was not what they ended up doing.

Stiles blamed the rain scene; and Taylor Lautner's abs. Oh and fucking Derek and his perfect everything like Jesus Christ. Instead of enjoying the movie for its awfulness, Stiles ended up getting a major hard on. This was different from his normal semi he was always sporting because of Derek thanks Asshole because now he was desperate for relief and he didn't know how to get it. Derek and he had just become a thing and he wasn't quite sure if Derek was up to frickle frackling getting sexual and he didn't dare ask if they could do that; because 1. That's not sexy and 2. Just no. So there he was, sitting on the couch on the opposite side of Derek because they both needed an armrest and refused to share that, sporting the most painful boner he's ever experienced and he had no way of just making it disappear.

It's not like he could just go to Derek's bathroom and give it a good twist. He'd always needed videos to get off and his phone was a no go and also Isaac uses that bathroom and Stiles wouldn't do that to him. He got desperate and desperate times call for desperate measures.

"Will you excuse me?" He asked, heart thrumming.

Derek obviously heard the accelerated heart beat but pretended to hear otherwise. He also smelled desperateness and arousal but he didn't call Stiles out on it because he wasn't that much of a dick.

"You okay?" Derek asked with a slight smirk.

Okay, he lied; he was that much of a dick.

"Yeah, I'm fine, god man, get off my back," Stiles snapped.

Derek held his hands up in mock surrender and went back to watching the movie because he was secretly enjoying it.

Stiles got up and went to the room that was supposed to be the kitchen but was so bare that Derek was fooling no one kitchen and open the drawer that he knew would contain scissors. He took a deep breath that normally would have been filled with shame and regret over what he was about to do but right now, he was too far gone with his hormones; it had to be done.

He unzipped his pants.

He then proceeded to cut open a large hole into the bottom of the funnel that had held his extra-large curly fries. He took his cock out and gave it a good stroke; he stopped himself before it went too far. He slipped it slowly into the hole he had made in the funnel and held it surely in his grasp. He walked back into the living room, sitting as physically possible away from Derek on the couch. This was obviously a **horrible idea **but like previously mentioned, Stiles clearly wasn't thinking straight.

He stared at Lautner's abs unimpressed because Derek's abs were clearly better and pretended to grab a fry when really he was grabbing his dick. It got to the point where he realized he wasn't even really looking at Jacob but rather imagining it was Derek in the film doing all those stupid stunts.

He sighed as he smeared the pre-cum around his dick; hoping to use it as some kind of lubrication. He stopped when he heard Derek make a broken animalistic sound.

"**Stiles, what the hell are you doing**?" Derek asked red in the face with the effort of not mewling like a kitten over how beautiful the sight before him was.

There he was, eyes glued to the screen completely dazed as he stroked himself; mouth open like always because he never knows how to shut it. It always distracted Derek and now? The kid was practically jacking himself off right next to him and he didn't think Derek would notice?

Stiles looked at him with comically wide eyes and his mouth formed an O because of his surprise over being literally caught red handed. He then proceeded to remember that Derek was a Werewolf and Werewolves have a **fantastic** fucking sense of smell.

"Oh shit," Stiles blurted.

"Oh shit is right," Derek said as he predatorily stalked over to Stiles's side of the couch. He had smelled the minute Stiles had whipped his dick out and he had about cried because he hadn't been there to see it. Now it was right there in front of him and he wasn't letting it out of his sight. He pulled off the fry funnel and threw it across the room; scattering the remaining fries that had been there.

"You owe me fries and I thought you wanted to wait," Stiles said trying to mask his awkwardness over the fact that this was the first timeanyone Derek had seen this part of him.

"Waiting's for squares," Derek said as he dropped to his knees and took Stiles into his mouth.

Stiles moaned and gasped aloud; arching his back as he grabbed onto the couch's armrest and tried to stop his toes from curling. Derek stretched him out and held him by the thighs. He bobbed his head in a slow rhythm, smelling the pure scent that is Stiles amongst the dark curls at the base of his cock; Derek was fully committed to memorizing this scent.

"Derek, I'm-I'm not gonna-stop, **I'm not gonna last**," Stiles said through heavy breathing.

Derek pulled off with an audible pop that made Stiles whimper at the loss of that wonderful mouth.

"Isn't that the whole point of this?" Derek asked with a wicked grin that did nothing to help Stiles because god help him, he wanted this asshole.

Stiles's eyes were almost completely black with how turned on he was.

"I wanna take care of you, though," Stiles said gesturing to Derek's neglected hard on.

"If you want," Derek said, eyes sparkling with anticipation and good humor as they both stood up.

"So hey, that's a nice shirt, take off your clothes," Stiles said like the smoothest operator ever.

"If you take yours off," Derek replied easily as he stripped.

Stiles pretty much ripped off his own clothing. Derek took his sweet ass time not that Sties was complaining. When he was about to take off his underwear, Stiles stopped him.

"No, I wanna do that," Stiles said, practically whining.

Derek took his hands off and let him. Stiles got in front of him, giddy with excitement and splayed his hands possessively on Derek's chest because this was now his and he was never letting him go. He slowly dragged his hands down, brushing one of Derek's nipples as he did so. Derek held back the shiver that threatened to run down his spine at Stiles's gentle touch. Finally Stiles's hands found themselves at the band of Derek's black boxer briefs. He smiled like a child on Christmas day and palmed Derek's crotch. Derek bit his lip, refusing to moan out loudbecause he refused to give Stiles everything he wanted because he was spoiled enough. Stiles frowned and cupped him more firmly. This time Derek couldn't contain his groan.

Stiles grinned his best shit eating grin. He grabbed Derek by the shoulders and pushed him onto the couch. Stiles was well aware this only happened because Derek let himself be pushed down. Stiles got down on his knees like he had seen Derek do. This was after all Stiles's first time doing anything remotely sexual with another person and he was terrified he was going to find a way to fuck it all up. He hesitated. Derek could smell the distress Stiles was experiencing.

"Look Stiles, whatever happens, it doesn't change the way I feel about you."

Stiles looked up at him in surprise. He had definitely not been expecting that confession from Derek. That was actually very nice of him and appropriately sensitive of him.

"Whatever you do, don't bite. I haven't gotten my rabies shot."

And there's the asshole Stiles had fallen in love with; charming.

Stiles rolled his eyes and actually forgot about his anxiety over the fact that he was about to suck his boyfriend off. Stiles shimmied the boxer briefs off Derek and took a good look at **it; **the thing that had been on his mind constantly.

"Oh my God," Stiles breathed out.

"What?" Derek asked rather sharply.

"It's-it's," Stiles began but faltered as he continued to stare it down.

"It's what?" Derek asked impatiently, looking down at Stiles.

"It's beautiful," Stiles cried out as he went down on Derek.

He took Derek in his mouth so perfectly, like he was born to do it, that Derek almost found it impossible to believe that Stiles had never done this before. Derek often fantasized about Stiles giving him a blow job because who wouldn't, I mean look at them lips, damn son but this seemed unrea-

**"NO TEETH, STILES, NO TEETH,"** Derek bellowed out.

Stiles hummed his apology.

This proved to be too much for Derek because he suddenly had no control and he came down Stiles's throat. Stiles had apparently anticipated this and had pulled back so as not to choke. After a minute, Derek remembered and made grabby hands at Stiles. Stiles released him and sat on his lap. Derek went to grab Stiles's crotch to finish the job but Stiles stopped him.

"I-I already came," Stiles said to Derek's shoulder because he sure as hell wasn't going to say that to Derek's face.

"Huh, w-why?" Derek asked because he was curious but at the same time extremely tired.

"Well you look exceptionally attractive when you come, Derek," Stiles said a little hotly.

Derek pulled Stiles back to look at his face. Stiles looked extremely sour and that just made Derek chuckle. This did not bode well with Stiles and it made him pout even more than he already was and give Derek a dirty look. Derek just laughed and pulled him close and kissed him. Stiles stopped being such a sourwolf and actually melted into the kiss. As they parted for breath, Stiles said what was on his mind.

"Ya know, we should really go to Arby's more."

And they totally fucking did.


End file.
